Scarlet Tears
by kristina5454
Summary: Allen Walker has had a very rough past. Because of this he created a mask of fake happiness and smiles. When he joins Black Order High School he meets people he never thought could even exist in his world of darkness. Can they and one particular samurai bring him back to the light? Or will he fall into despair forever? Rated M! Yullen. Protective Cross! TEMPORARY HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This is an AU story of D-Gray Man! The characters will be a little OOC. This story is rated M for a reason.**

 **Warning: If anyone is triggered by death, blood, suicide, pills, anxiety, panic attacks, rape and more please do not read this! Violent language is mildly used as well.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own D-Gray man sadly.**

* * *

 ** _(Flashback)_**

 _Allen P.O.V:_

"I'm s-sorry, I won't d-do it a-again." A small skinny boy that looked about 11 but was actually 13, stammered fearfully.

The gang I was involved in but was attempting to get out of surrounded me in an abandoned valley, holding knives and other various weapons.

The gang leader Billy slowly tredged towards me in a threatening manner, holding a knife right in front of my face. The moonlight shown through the valley making Billy look even more threatening.

"You little bitch, you think you can leave whenever you want huh? Well guess what little Allie-boy you cant, at least not without a parting gift of course." He sneered down at me. I was trembling, scared of what they were going to do to me.

"I-I'm really s-sorry I w-wont d-do it a-again!" I tried to calm my trembling hands. Billy slammed his large hand onto the wall next to my face. I flinched violently with tears starting to leak out from my eyes. All of a sudden Billy grinned an ear to ear grin.

"Time for some fun boys!" He laughed crazily.

Billy lowered the knife and positioned it right above my left eye. He started carving some sort of pattern on m skin with the knife and dragged it all the way down my cheek, stopping a few centimeters above my chin.

I screamed for what felt like hours but in reality was only a few minutes. When he finally finished I had blood running down my face mixed with my tears. The rest of the gang took that as their cue to start tormenting me as well.

They beat me without a care in the world laughing at my pain. Just when I thought it was almost over I felt something hard poke my inner thigh (AN. Not gonna go into details) and felt fear shoot through me ten-fold.

"You ready lil boy? We haven't had much fun for a while" They grinned crazily. "N-no p-please don't!" I screamed and beg while they undressed me. 'Please someone help me' I thought. That was my last thought as they raped me.

 ** _One Hour Time Skip (still in flashback)_**

I lay broken and bloodied on the hard and cold pavement.

I was stark naked and had multiple wounds and bruises littered all over my body.

The worst one was a thick in width and size cut from my collarbone to my navel. I know it will scar for sure. I still had a hard time believing that I was just beaten and raped by 7 people and felt like dying right then.

My shockingly white hair was matted with blood and looked like a disgusting moldy brown color. My vision was blurry and I looked up at the sky with dull eyes. 'Just take me away' I thought too the gods.

Just when I felt I was losing consciousness I saw long fiery red hair in the corner of my vision, walking towards me. "N-no..." I muttered brokenly and finally succumbed to the darkness.

 ** _(flashback over)_**

That was over one year ago. My name is Allen Walker and I'm now 15 years old.

It's September 21 and it's the first day of school. I have white hair and a red uneven scar down the left side of my face. My left arm is scaly and red and I was called a monster and a freak by every school and place I have ever gone to.

I really hope it would be different this time. I was preparing for my new school Black Order High. I put on a dark shirt that said 'Who Cares?' and ripped black jeans with a chain on the right side. I had black gloves and a gold earring in my left ear.

Some people would say I was emo but it's just the opposite. I developed a mask of sorts to hide my feelings.

To people I seemed kind and polite even though I looked like a bad-boy. As I was brushing my teeth the door to my room opened and my guardian Cross came inside. He is pretty overprotective and it makes me feel nice.

"Idiot apprentice, don't forget your pills." He said and left just like that.

"Oh and by the way the principal Komui knows everything" He shouted. I looked down and muttered "Isn't that great, another one knows my flaws." I washed my face and left the bathroom, grabbing my pills and phone before running out the door. Fifteen minutes of walking later and a tall building comes into view.

"Woah, intense." I mutter. I see people everywhere rushing to class and some greeting friends. I sigh and open the main doors. Black Order High here I come!

* * *

 **And Done! Please review and also I will update as soon as possible.**

 **If you want this story to continue please comment and tell me! If not I'll drop this.**

 **Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I finished chapter 2! Make sure you read the authors note at the bottom afterwards! Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: No I don't own DGM but a girl can dream eh?**

* * *

 _Allen P.O.V:_

I just entered Black Order High School and let me tell you something. I'm impressed. The school looks brand new. Honestly I could go on and on about how great the school looks like but there's just one little problem.

I'm utterly and completely lost. It's practically time for my first period too, but I still have to find the principals office. As I was rushing around I bumped into someone, and when I say bumped I mean hard.

I fell backwards and my paper dropped. I looked up getting ready to apologize but my breath caught in my throat. Standing above me arms crossed was the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life.

He had black hair that seemed to glow blue in the lighting, in a high ponytail that practically reached his waist. He was wearing a dark leather jacket and dark blue jeans with a pair of black sneakers.

He looked down at me annoyed, "Well Moyashi you gonna keep staring, or do I have to hit you to stop?" He gave off a murderous aura. My heart sped up at the sound of his voice. Then realizing what he said I snapped back "Who the hell are you calling a beansprout ponytail?"

He looked as if he were about to strangle me, but seemed to restrain himself before giving off a "Che" and walked away, hair swinging behind him. "Hmph what a jerk" I muttered to myself.

"Need any help their?" I hear a voice to my right. I turn my head to see a girl with dark greenish hair in twin pigtails, wearing a dark blue short sleeve top and peach colored shorts.

"I'm Lenalee Lee, nice to meet you...?" I shaked her offered hand cautiously before replying "Allen Walker." She looked both surprised and relieved at the same time. I looked at her confused before grabbing the dropped paper from the floor.

"Your the new kid right?" I nodded at her standing there albeit stiffly. "You need to go to the principal right?" She offered me a kind smile.

"My brother Komui is the principal, if you'd like I can take you to him?" I was relieved, finally someone can tell me where the office is. "Thank you so much! I felt like I was never gonna find it. This school is really big" I said while rubbing the back of my neck embarrassed.

"Ok well follow me then" She pointed towards herself. I nodded and followed her. Five minutes later and I was inside a huge office with papers everywhere, and I mean everywhere.

Wherever you looked you would see a pile of papers I swear I could get lost in it. A purple haired man seemed to be asleep on the desk and a blonde man was next to him attempting to wake him it seemed.

"Oh hello" The blonde man noticed me. Lenalee nodded to him and left saying "Bye Allen, it was nice meeting you. Hope to see you around" She smiled and left with a wave. I gave back my own smile and turned my attention back to the man.

"Hello Mr...?" He smiled and said "Reever, just Reever please." I nodded and gave a shy smile. "Komui, Lenalee is getting married." He whispered to the principal. Komui shot up and shouted "NO, NOT MY PRECIOUS LITTLE SISTER! WHO DID IT REEVER? TELL ME!" Reever shot an annoyed look at Komui and sent me an apologetic glance.

"Ahem, Komui this here is our new student Allen Walker I'm guessing?" He sent me an unsure glance. I nodded in confirmation. It's nice to meet you Mr. Komui and Mr. Reever. Komui pushed his glasses up to his nose and gestured for me to sit down.

"Well Allen you are starting your sophomore year correct?" He asked me after Reever left the room. I nodded in confirmation. "Okay well here is your schedule" He hands me a paper with my classes "Oh and Allen, I know of your past and your current issues. Remember to take everything you are given, which includes your pills."

He stated seriously. "Yes Mr. Komui" I said. "Just Komui please, no need for formalities. Ah! Cross has also informed me that anytime you have or feel like you will have an attack to come to me immediately. Anytime that were to happen, I will inform Cross. Understood?"

He stated leaning back into his chair. Well Cross sure is getting more protective of me I thought to myself. I wonder why? "Understood Komui." He scribbles something down on a sticky note and hands it to me. I see it says late pass.

"Just give this note to your teacher, I will inform them why you were late as well. Good luck Allen Walker and welcome to Black Order High!" He waves at me while I start to head out. I smile and say a polite 'Thank You' before heading to what seems to be History.

I glance at the rest of my classes. It goes like this, History, English, Math, Music, Lunch, Science, and Gym. I hate gym! This sucks but I guess its fine, I think to myself. It seems I have all advanced classes again. That probably means a mix of grades. 'Just great' I thought.

Well I guess I should head to room 242 then. Five minutes later I stand in front of the door to my History class. Well here goes...I opened the door and all got quiet. I shift nervously and walk over to a dark haired women who smiled warmly at me. I gave her the note and stood stiffly. "Alright class, this is Allen Walker please make him feel welcome." She gave me an encouraging nod and I smiled back shyly.

"Allen please take a seat between Lavi and Kanda over there." She pointed to a redhead with an eyepatch over his right eye and the man I met in the hallway earlier. I nodded stiffly and walked over to my new seat. I saw Lenalee in the corner of my vision and we both smiled at each other.

As soon as I sat down the readhead now known as Lavi started talking to me. "Hey short stack, I'm Lavi as you know and nice to meet you" He offered a kind smile. I could see it was fake. I would know since I practically live off fake smiles and masks. "Nice to meet you too, Lavi." I offered my own fake smile. I was about to introduce myself to Kanda but he beat me to it.

"Say a word Moyashi, and your dead" I just rolled my eyes and turned away.

This is looking out to be one hell of a year, oh the joy of high school.

* * *

 **And done! Okay now I need suggestions, who should be Allen's best friend? The choices are:**

 **1\. Lavi**

 **2\. Lenalee**

 **3\. Lala (Yes she will be in this story)**

 **4\. Link**

 **Oh and his lover is obviously Kanda so yep. Please comment and let me know!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! The polls are in! Here are the votes!**

 **Link: 6**

 **Lala: 4**

 **Lenalee: 1**

 **Lavi: 1**

 _ **Link wins!**_

 **Sorry if yours didnt get picked but all of these characters will still play a pretty big role on Allen's life.**

 **Also, in one of the comments it said that Lavi shouldn't be picked because he had a fake smile. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding but by fake smile I didn't mean towards Allen, I meant that Lavi also wears a mask, similar to Allen, meaning he is also in 'pain' if you understand what I'm getting at?**

 **Disclaimer: What's the point in doing this every chapter?**

 **Read A.N. below for another poll.**

* * *

 _Allen pov:_

So far I just went through my first period and even made it out alive!

I know, hard to imagine right? I learned my teachers name was Mrs. Miranda and even though she was really nice she got scared over every little thing she does or thinks she does wrong. Honestly, people are lucky that I am used to being called a freak and monster, I even heard I'm a 'failed child'.

That was new. I could hear it everywhere, the whispers and stares. I hate it! This is what makes me panic and have anxiety attacks, but I can usually control it. As I get ready to go to second period, I see Lenalee and Lavi looking at me worriedly and talking in hushed voices.

Probably calling me a demon spawn, I though emotionally. Even though on the outside it seems that none of this affects me, on the inside I feel like I'm slowly breaking. I truly thought Lenalee was at least different. But what can I do? I continued packing my books and started heading out the door.

"Allen!" I heard a voice shout. I turned and saw Lenalee and Lavi come towards me. I put on my fake smile and politely waited for them by the door. "What do you have next?" Lavi questioned. I checked my schedule and saw it said English.

"Um, it says English with Mr. Tyki?" I stated surprised. Hm, I didn't know Tyki worked here. A cheery voice drowned out my thoughts and I floated back to reality just in time to hear "That's great Allen! We both have that as well." Lenalee said smiling happily towards me.

I narrowed my eyes and stated "What's the catch? You wanna beat me up, steal my money? What do you want?!" I nearly shouted starting to panic a bit. They looked at me with different expressions. Lenalee looked horrified and shocked, while Lavi seemed surprised and upset. "We don't want to do any of that sprout. We just want to be friends." Lavi sincerely stated.

I scoffed, "Yeah right, I don't know the word friend. I only have 2 friends and will probably ever have two friends." I bitterly stated. I checked the time on my phone and saw we had one more minute till class starts.

"Well anyway I have to get to class so bye" I frowned and walked away, attempting to find the right classroom number. Lenalee and Lavi seemed to say a silent message with their eyes. _Looks like we are gonna have to try harder_ they seemed to say. As I walked into the classroom I notice Lavi and Lenalee were already here. I walked to a seat in the back and sat down next to a girl with dark hair and round glasses, doodling in a bright green notebook. She looked at me when I sat down and smiled kindly. I didn't show my suprise to her not reacting violently, and smiled back.

"Hi, I'm Lou Fa! Nice to meet you" She blushed. "Hi Lou Fa, I'm Allen Walker and yes, nice to meet you too." I politely said and took out my notebook. Tyki seemed to keep his gaze on me throughout the entire class and I knew he wanted to talk to me.

"Allen, stay after class please" He said five minutes before class ended. I nodded and put my things away. One by one everyone started leaving and I saw Lenalee and Lavi give me one last glance and they left. "Hi Tyki" I whispered.

I suddenly felt weaker than this morning and knew it was the side effects from the stress I've been feeling and almost panic attack from earlier. "Hey Allen, how do you feel?" He said in a soothing voice. I felt dizzy and leant against him. "Tyki..." I said quietly. He hugged me and let me lean against him. I slowly felt the effects pass and stood up straight.

"Thank you Tyki-pet" I said gratefully. He just laughed "Anytime bunny" he smiled his creepy smile. Tyki and Road, his nephew and my cousin of sorts knew of my condition and were the only good ones in their family. But that's a story for another time. Tyki's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I gazed at him tiredly. "Tyki-pet I have to go to class." I murmured.

"Let me take you there, knowing you little bunny, you'll get lost." He stated amusedly. I pouted cutely. "Kay" I said. Five minutes later we arrived at my math classroom. Tyki entered first and held my hand, dragging me in.

Everyone was quiet watching Tyki drag me in. He let go of my hand and went to talk to the teacher, who's name was Mr. Krory according to him. I looked around to see some eyes at me and some at Tyki. I recognized Lavi sitting next to Kanda in the back. I averted my gaze from Lavi's pleading eyes and Kanda's piercing gaze. I shifted impatient and cleared my throat.

"Oh right! Sorryyyy bunny!" Tyki said in a sing-song voice. I glared at him, then smirked while he paled. "What was that Tyki-p mph" Tyki covered my mouth. I looked up at him with amusement. He moved his hand and gave me a quick hug before excusing himself. He looked at me worried and I understood the message he was giving me 'stay safe'. "Bye Tyki-pet" I smirked at him. He looked at me horrified and I closed the classroom door.

I turned around to see everyone staring at me.

"Oops" I said aloud in a uncaring voice. Some boy in the back with curly brown hair raised his hand while staring at me weirdly. "Yes Chaoji?" Mr. Krory asked. "I have a question for Allen sir" The teacher looked at me and I just shrugged.

"Are you and Mr. Tyki dating?" I just stared at him while everyone was looking at me waiting for an answer. Then I burst out laughing. Everyone jumped surprised at my laughing. "Good one!" I cried, tears in my eyes.

"If he's not that what's going on with you two?" I wiped my eyes of the tears and answered back "He's my uncle" I stated with seriousness. He looked ready to ask another question before the bell rang. "Oh it seems we've ran out of time" Mr. Krory said.

"Dismissed". I left the classroom and went to lunch. I found out exorcists get free lunch and simply got a sandwich and juice, seeing I wasn't too hungry cause of my almost attack earlier. Pretty soon the day passed by and we had a early dismissal after lunch since it was the first day.

I left the school after a while and went to my house. I was waiting to see my best friend Link. Link and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. We have known each other for nine years and he has been by my side through everything. I love him for that (as best friends of course). He was gonna come over later and hang out with me. He lives at the house across the street from mine, lucky us!

I walked into the house and put my bag down. I undressed and got changed into more comfy clothes. Cross seemed to be out again so I just sat down and watched tv. I had no homework since it was the first day and all.

While watching tv I thought about our other friend Lala. I haven't known Lala for nearly as long as Link but she was still close to Link and I. We met when I moved here almost two years ago. She lives next to Link's house, small world huh? Lala and Link attend school somewhere else though. It's called CROW school and its a block away from Black Order High. Their my closest friends and I'm happy I have them.

Soon I hear the doorbell ring and know Link is here. I jump up off the couch and open the front door. Link is there with a smile on his face and walks in. Link had blond hair in a braid going to his mid back. He has two dots on his forehead but I don't make fun of him because I have a jagged scar running down my face, fair and square right? He's wearing black sweats and a dark blue shirt with a leather jacket.

"Hey Allen" He greets me while giving me a hug. "Hey Link, I missed you" I breath into his hair. "I missed you too Allen" He replied hugging me tightly.

I haven't seen Link in two weeks since he was out of town with his mom. Link's dad died when he was little but his mom took care of him greatly. We walk to the couch and start talking about his trip and what he did. He went sightseeing and also brought back a key chain for me.

It had the letter A with snowflakes as a design running along the letter. "Wow, Thank you Link" I smiled joyfully. "No prob Allen" He smiled back. Only Link and Lala have ever received my genuine smiles and it will probably stay that way. I told Link about my first day and he told me about his, we kept exchanging stories until I felt my eyes slip closed. I leaned against Link's shoulder and drifted off to sleep.

 **Allen's nightmare**

The scenery changed to a snowy night, a brown haired boy with an oven mitt covering his left hand and his right hand holding another's hand, were walking in the snow. All of a sudden he was pushed down and hit in the head with a bat. He cried out in pain and turned around to see blood.

Blood everywhere, on his clothes, in the snow, on _their_ hands. He was hyperventilating. "NO no no no NOOO, MANAAA!"

 **NIghtmare ends**

I woke up convulsing. I struggled to breath and coughed painfully. Link was all of a sudden in front of me and saying something. Link? Huh? What's going on? I panted, short breaths, keeping me alive. I had sweat dripping down my face, everything was blurry. _Help me._..I thought before feeling something being shoved down my throat and fading into blackness.

* * *

 **Hey everyone! Sorry there is no action between Kanda and Allen yet. I wanted to get into Allen's life some more and who he trusts and all that. Also Tyki and Road are good characters in this story.**

 **Link and Allen are NOT lovers even if it seems that way. They are just really close, almost brotherly-like.**

 **Lala knows both of them, they have been friends for over a year and a half.**

 _ **Next Vote: Who should be Allen's ex boyfriend? (They won't be evil just jealous and stuff)**_

 **1: Narain**

 **2: Suman (younger of course, he'll be like 17)**

 **3\. Bak Chang**

 **4\. OC**

 **If you want to make up a character tell me the- Name, eye color, hair color, personality, age**

 **THATS ALL, PLEASE COMMENT AND BYE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! So I have the results on who Allen's ex boyfriend will be! Here are the results:**

 **Narain: 7**

 **Bak: 3**

 **Suman: 2**

 **OC: 0**

 **As you can see Narain is the winner (I kinda hoped it would be him ^.^) Okay so I'm sorry that it took me a while to update, I'm kinda having trouble figuring out how the chapters should go, ya know?**

 **Anyway, on to the story!**

 **Warning: Blood, Anxiety**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

* * *

 _Allen Pov:_

It felt like I was stuck in darkness. I cant feel or see anything. Its as if I am underwater, vaguely hearing voices.

I know theirs someone there, I just cant understand what they are saying. Suddenly I feel the urge of being pulled away, and I just let myself get pulled. "-en" Huh? Did someone say something? "-llen!" I know that voice. Who was it again? "Allen!" I jolt upwards with a gasp.

I feel my shoulders get pushed back down into my...bed? Wasn't I on the couch? All I remember was watching t.v. and Link came over, then nothing but pain. I look up groggily, not yet completely awake. I see a blond haired boy above me.

"Are you okay?" Link asked me worriedly. I just nodded tiredly. "W-what happened?" I rasped out. Link moved my hair out of my face and sighed.

"You had another attack Allen. Are you under stress? Did someone come back from your past? What's happening with you Allen?!" He almost seemed to scream out. I looked away guilty.

Tears started edging their way into my vision. I didn't answer him, burying my face into my pillow. I heard shuffling and a door close shut. That's when I started sobbing. I couldn't stop, the tears seemed to never end.

I made Link worry over me and seemed to make him angry. Maybe he'll leave me too. It's not like I wasn't used to it, I thought bitterly.

My body was shaking and I felt a familiar pain in my chest. It made me panic and that was not the best option considering my state right now.

I started gasping feeling like their wasn't enough air. My chest tightened considerably and I felt as if it was squeezing my heart. I coughed a few times, hurting my already sore throat in the process.

I could feel the blackness edge around my vision and started hyperventilating. I tried to get up to get my pills and knocked over a glass by my bedside. I tripped and fell onto the broken glass. I felt it pierce my side and I think one cut my head.

All I knew after that was darkness.

 _Link Pov:_

Allen just woke up. I was really worried for him, his attack was pretty bad. I feel bad because I know right now he must be blaming himself for making me walk out of the room seeming 'angry', when I wasn't.

I just wanted to get a few minutes of fresh air and then I was going to get a wet cloth for his head. I know he must be feeling pretty crappy right now. Just then I heard something crash to the ground and I looked up towards Allen's room.

I listened for a few seconds hearing a 'thud' and ran to his room, wash cloth and all left behind. I opened the door quickly searching for white hair and saw him laying on the ground, a pool of blood quickly surrounding him and glass shards all over.

I gasped, a hand over my mouth and ran to his side.

"Allen!? Allen! Can you hear me?" I panicked. I shaked him a bit, seeing he had a head and side injury, to try to wake him. He just lay there motionless, ragged breathing the only thing heard in the silence of the room.

I knew immediately that he had another attack, and this one was much, much worse. It was probably because of me, I thought guiltely. I knew exactly who to call at a time like this. First, I need to call him an ambulance, and also I need to contact his guardian, knowing his protective side. I dialed 911 quickly while leaning Allen against the bed, so not to further aggravate his injuries.

"Hello?! Yes can I get an ambulance for 1019 Merryweather Street, my friend collapsed from an anxiety attack and sustains injuries in his side and his head. Yes, okay thank you very much" I hung up the call. I checked Allen seeing him getting more pale by the minute and he was still bleeding as well.

I took a few tissues that were by his bead, seeing nothing else I could use and pushed his wound a bit to add pressure.

Next, I dialed Cross. "Hello Cross. Sorry to interrupt your date but this is far more important. NO, Allen is not doing drugs, this is far worse. Listen will you! Allen is being admitted to the hospital, he had a bad attack and injured himself. Yes, just meet us at the hospital please. Yeah, it's Matron Hospital. Okay bye" I hung up quickly, hearing sirens.

I ran outside with Allen in my arms. I waited outside, impatiently but saw a few neighbors come out. Lala wasn't home yet so I would have to inform her later. I did in fact see a redhead with an eyepatch, a long haired man with a katana? -being dragged by a girl with pigtails outside. They saw us and seemed to look confused, before having alarmed faces and running over. Well atleast the redhead and girl did, the samurai guy was dragged.

"Omg! What happened to Allen?!" The girl asked. I looked at them suspicously. As I was about to answer I heard the sirens come closer before an ambulance arrived, quickly asking some questions while loading Allen in the car. I answered to the best of my knowledge before they left. I had to take my own car seeing they had no more space available in the ambulance. I turned to the group once the car was gone.

"How do you know Allen?" I raised my brows suspicous. "He is in some of our classes" The redhead answered.

I nodded before opening my mouth to answer. "All you need to know, since you seem like you wont stop asking, is that he had an anxiety attack that led to an accident" I muttered upset. "The rest is up to Allen to tell you, he doesn't really warm up to people easily. I would know since it took me at least a year to feel comfortable around" I said, getting my keys from my pocket.

"Will he be okay?" The girl asked. I turned around and looked them all in the eyes. The redhead had a worried and confused look in his one eye, the girl seemed surprised and upset, and the samurai man seemed like he didn't care, but I could have sworn I saw a hint of concern flash.

"I don't know" I answered honestly, before heading to my car.

"If you'll excuse me" I got inside and drove towards the hospital. I glanced in my side mirror seeing them talking before heading into their houses. Maybe Allen can finally open up some more, he could finally have more friends that I know he's always wanted.

He has me and Lala but I know it would be best for him to have more friends that go to his school and especially ones that live a few houses away.

Perhaps one day... And I drove away.

* * *

 **Hey guys, sorry if it wasn't that long I tried to do as much as I could with the time I have to spare. Narain won't be mentioned for a few chapters though. Sorry to disappoint :'(**

 **Anywho, in the next chapter Allen's attacks will be explained and trust me it's much more severe than you think (hehe). You will also find out how protective Cross can actually be. There will be much more suprises, just you wait!**

 **If any of you want something to happen to Allen, like what Noah should he should see first or what part of his past I should bring up (like Mana, his torture, etc.) comment and tell me!**

 **Bye!**

 **~KY^^KY~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone!**

 **First things first. I know my chapters are a little on the short side and I am trying to fix that. Little by little I will try to make them longer. Second! Last chapter I asked what part of Allen's past you wanted to see. Someone said Tyki but I meant the bad Noah's. Tyki and Road are good. LAST thing, I know this seems to be moving at a slow pace, but I want it that way because I am planning to make a lot of chapters.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM**

 **Warning: Hospital, flashback, accidents, blood.**

* * *

 _Allen POV:_

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was white. I closed my eyes again and groaned.

"Allen?" I hear a voice. I blink my eyes open, trying to get used to the sudden light, and saw Link sitting by my bed, book in hand.

"L-link" I attempt to speak, but he just shakes his head no, telling me not to talk. "I'm so sorry Allen, it was all my fault you had that attack." He started crying.

Seeing I was about to tell him otherwise he put a finger on my lips, silencing me immediately.

"Don't tell me it wasn't because I know you were probably blaming yourself. Allen I wasn't angry, just worried and disappointed I couldn't figure out sooner that you were having problems." He put his head down. I heard him take shaky breaths and I tried to pick my hand up enough to touch his arm.

My arms felt so weak, I just barely had the energy to touch his arm. He sees me struggling and takes my hand in his. We just stay there in the quietness, I can feel myself drifting off. Link suddenly gets up, startling me in the process.

"Sorry, I'm just gonna close the blinds so you can sleep, okay?" I just close my eyes in response.

I hear Link mutter a 'sleep well', and I finally escape to the hell people call sleep.

 _Link POV:_

It seems as if Allen had finally fallen asleep. He is really starting to worry everyone, not only me.

I move some strands of pearly white hair out of his face, before hearing my phone ring. I quickly pick it up and step outside, so not to disturb Allen.

"Hello?" I mutter. "Link! How is everything? I got your text, is Allen alright?" I hear a chirpy voice exclaim. "Oh hey Lala. Allen is fine at the moment. The doctor should come soon with the results of his condition." I say while clutching the phone tightly in my hand.

"It will be alright hun. Allen will pull through this, he always has." She says comfortingly.

"Are you still in India?" I question her. "Yes, I should be back by next week though, maybe Tuesday?" She says in a sad matter. "Oh! I have to go now but call me when you get the results, alright? I love you Link" Lala says in a soothing tone. "Okay I will, love you too" I hang up.

Lala and I have been in a relationship for about three months. We are very happy together and I hope it will stay that way. Lala absolutely loves to travel, which is why she is currently in India. She only travels once every year for a few weeks. She will miss the first week of school but should be back next week. A tap on the shoulder startles me, and I look behind me. I see Allen's doctor and sigh in relief.

"Are you part of Allen's family?" The doctor- Mr. Hans- asks me. "You could say that. I'm a brother at most, though not blood related" I say calmly on the outside, while inside I'm panicking.

I mean why would he need immediate family? It can't be that bad can it? Mr. Hans seems to think for a moment, hands going to his chin.

"Alright I will take your word for it" He gives me a weary smile. I nod gratefully, while he gestures for me to follow him. We walk back into Allen's room and I see Cross is there, watching Allen. Hah! I knew he cared. Bastard just never shows it, I think to myself.

Mr. Hans gestures me to take a seat, and I do, next to Cross. "Alright, I have the news regarding Allen Walker" He looks down sadly. "Allen here has PTSD- otherwise known as Posttraumatic Stress Disorder" He states writing down something on his clipboard.

My eyes wide, I glance at Allen, my eyes tearing up. PTSD can be very serious. "Has Allen ever had any traumatic experiences?" He looked at me and Cross questionably. "Yes he has had multiple experiences." Cross said seriously. I could see the hints of worry written across his face.

"Ah I see, well he probably experiences nightmares, memories, flashbacks, and the such, correct?" We both nod. "I see. The best way for him to cope is to have good friends that will help him through it." He looks towards me. "You may be very close to Allen, but keep in mind for someone with this disorder he will need a few friends by his side." He seems to be reading something on his clipboard, his eyes wide and worried.

"Do any of you know if Allen's chest or heart feels constricted when he has a panic attack?" I glance at Cross, seeing he has nothing, I decide to speak up, "We are not exactly sure how he feels since he never seems to remember what happened." The doctor nods and writes something down.

"Okay so Allen seems to have a problem with his heart. With a heart disorder such as heart failure, feeling faint, lightheaded or dizzy may be due to a reduction of blood flow to the brain. Sudden loss of consciousness usually means that the blood supply to the brain is seriously reduced." He tells us, with a serious face. Seeing our probably very panicked faces, he adds in "Now I am positive he does not have a heart disorder, at least nothing quite serious, he may still suffer the effects of it. It seems as for now he just has panic attacks, which most likely make his chest feel constricted, but as time grows on, if he feels a lot of pressure he may suffer from dizziness and fainting." Mr. Hans finishes.

My eyes fill with tears while I take Allen's hand in both of my own. Cross seems to be thinking, glancing down at his hands. "On to the last thing" The doctor says, snapping us out of our daze. "I want him to come in for a monthly check-up to make sure everything is okay" He gets up, seeing us nod to his statement, and gathers his papers. "He will be released by Thursday" He gave us a grim smile and left out the door.

I start to sob uncontrollably. This is to much, for me, for Cross, for everyone, and especially for Allen. He shouldn't have to go through this. Cross gets up and makes a phone call, glancing one last time at Allen, and walking out the door.

I glance at Allen's hair, running my hand through his locks. Allen got into an accident with his foster father Mana, which is how he got his hair turned white. I remember seeing it on the news...

 **[FLASHBACK]**

 _There were two people driving on the highway. There weren't many cars out since they were nearing someones house, a few miles away. Mana, the tall man with wind-swept raven locks and a handsome, lean face with dark eyes, was driving the car._

 _The little boy, Allen, had brown locks, with a cute boyish face and silver/gray eyes, was sitting in the backseat chatting his heart away. Mana Walker adopted this little boy and they were currently heading to Mana's brother, Neah Walker. There was a black car trailing behind them, only Mana seemed to notice._

 _Unfortunately he noticed far too late. "Allen, I love you okay?" Allen looked up at Mana confused and replied "Of course Mana, I love you too!" He smiled real big._

 _"Allen please lay down under the seat, whatever happens do not get up, alright?" Mana said with a tear running down his face. "Huh? Why?" Allen looked confused. "Just do it Allen! NOW!" Mana shouted fearfully._

 _Allen looked scared but did so. One minute later, the car exploded, making them turn upside down and turn multiple times. Fortunately no other cars were hit. Allen had a few cuts, and a gash a few centimeters above his eyebrow, about one and a half inches long._

 _Other than that he made it fine. "MANA!?" Allen cried out fearfully._

 _"WHERE ARE YOU? MANA!?" Allen started crying. He stops when he spots a head of raven hair, and crawls towards him, amidst the rubble and smoke. There was a pool of blood surrounding him and his head seemed to hit the glass. His legs and arms were twisted and he had a piece of rubble sticking through his chest._

 _"MANA! Wake up! Wake up please! Mana!" Allen kept shaking him until he felt a pair of hands grab him and pull him out of the rubble. "NO, MANA IS STILL THERE! LET ME GO!" He screamed, struggling through the hands that were holding him. "Shh, little one. It will be alright." A women's voice shushed him. Allen cried and cried, begging for Mana. "NO! HE PROMISED! You promised Mana, you said you would never leave me alone again! MANAAAAAAAAAAA!" A child's cry was heard that night._

 **[FLASHBACK END]**

Allen told me all the details of this story after much difficulty. His hair turned white the same day, as he arrived at the hospital. They say it turned out white from trauma. He has only ever told me, not even Lala knows.

I promise to always stay by his side.

* * *

 **WELL...Yep. How did I do? I revealed Allen's past with Mana and as for who was following them, you guys should have a little idea about that already.**

 **Starting now I will be giving sneak peaks onto the next chapters. I hope this story is turning out okay... _hehe._**

 **Please comment and tell me if you want anything to happen in future chapters. I am open to all ideas!**

 **Next Chapter : **

**_Allen finally gets out of the hospital and gets a surprise visit! Sparks will fly, questions will be asked! Can Allen handle this? Who will pull him out of the darkness? Or maybe he will pull someone from their own darkness? Find out in chapter 6!_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi people's. I'm sorry I took long, but sadly I have no excuse. This chapter is a little jumbled and OOCed but I still posted it! Tell me what you think and yeah that's about it.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own anything**

 **Warning: Torture, blood, self harm, suicide attempt**

* * *

 _Allen POV_ :

"Ah, home sweet home" I exclaimed happily. I finally returned home from the hospital after being there for nearly a week. It's already Thursday and of course I missed almost the first whole week of school, besides being there on the first day.

I had orders from the doctor to keep it easy, and try to stay calm, otherwise my anxiety would kick in. Cross demanded I stay home from school tomorrow, and go back on Monday. Apparently he had already informed Komui. Link also told me that Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda are our neighbors.

'Just great' I think sarcastically. I lay on the couch, an arm over my eyes. Link had to go back to school, I appreciate it that he stayed with me for a few days though. Cross is in the kitchen, cooking something for dinner.

Yep. Cross cooks. Surprising eh? While the delicious aroma of chicken filled my nose, I felt myself drift off to sleep.

 **In Allen's Dream**

The sound of a whip hitting flesh could be heard in an echo throughout the room. A boy seeming to be age 11 cried everytime the whip came down on his back.

"P-please ahh s-stop" the little boy cried. The man above him just grinned darkly, making his ashen gray skin seem even more sinister.

"Now why would I do that Allen-kun?" The man laughed insanely.

"OOHHH I ALMOST FORGOT! I HAVE A NEW TOY!" He exclaimed happily. The boy, Allen, started sobbing uncontrollably and shaking his head in a no motion.

"No p-please!" The man seemed to not hear him or chose to ignore him. He took out a four inch dagger with a black substance out of a box. On the handle it read Earl and glinted dangerously. The dagger came down right into the child's chest.

"AHHHH-

 **End Allen's dream**

"-HHH" I woke up screaming. I breathed deeply and tried to calm down my heavy breathing. I heard footsteps running over to me and looked to see Cross standing above me. He crouched down, not saying anything, which I appreciate, and pulled me towards his chest.

I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and started crying. We sat there, me crying, and Cross rocking me back and forth, for a good 30 minutes.

"Which one was it?" He asked me softly. I looked up, teary eyed still, "Earl" I put my head back into his chest. He hummed and stroked my head softly.

"I have dinner ready. You were out for a good hour. " He took my hand and pulled me up. I stumbled before he quickly righted me.

"Go wash up and come to the kitchen when your done" He walked away. I did as told and went into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror, my face was splotchy and I had tear tracks on my cheeks. I hate it when have nightmares like those.

One time, it was so bad and seemed so real that I almost tried to commit suicide. Luckily, Cross stopped me right before I slit my wrists. Sadly that happened not too long ago. I would say maybe about six months ago. All of a sudden I hear a voice call out my name.

"Allen! Hurry it up will ya!" Cross shouts.

"Okay I'm coming!" I quickly rinse my hands and face and walk out of the bathroom. I join Cross in the kitchen and he hands me a plate of roasted chicken and rice.

"Thank you Master" I start eating at a steady pace. He sits down across from me and starts eating his share while drinking a glass of beer.

"Oi brat, you okay now?" I rolled my eyes, though I did give a small shudder.

"I'm fine Master" I resumed in the devouring of my chicken. Cross gave a barely noticeable nod and got up to put his dishes in the sink. A few minutes later after I finish eating, the doorbell rings.

"I got it Master!" I ran to the door. When I opened it I saw Lenalee, Lavi, and to my upmost surprise, Kanda.

"Hey there short stack!" Lavi grins stupidly. Lenalee gave me a warm smile, while Kanda just looked annoyed to be here. I glare at them, "What do you want?" I nearly growl.

"Woah their tiger!" Lavi puts his hands up and backs away a step.

"We just came to check on you, we saw you get put in a ambulance. Your friend with the blond hair told us a bit on what happened" Lavi's voice took on a serious tone while he looked concerned. I just signed and banged my head on the wall, "Just come inside" I muttered. The trio walked inside and sat on the couch, after I gestured them too.

"So what do ya want?" I looked at each of them expectantly. Lenalee glanced at Lavi, seeming to agree on something then looked towards me.

"Allen, I know you don't trust us very much, we understand. You have not been the only one with a past" she spoke. Seeing I was about to say something she put a hand up quieting me and continued on speaking.

"Before you say anything, we did not go looking into your past, we just assumed by the way you were acting that you don't trust people easily." I just looked down and thought about what she said.

"How do I know I can trust you?" Lavi stopped her from speaking and answered himself, "You don't know, but the only thing you can do is try to give us a chance." I thought about this. No one ever gave me an answer quite like that one. I guess I can try, but why would they want to befriend someone like me? Seeming to read my thoughts Lavi looked at me smiling.

"We wanted to be friends because you are a mystery. We love mysteries and love interesting people even more. If you decide to give us a chance then maybe we can show you the true love of friendship beansprout." He grinned and slung one arm around Lenalee and one around Kanda who was sitting on the other side of Lavi. I felt something welling up inside my eyes.

I panicked and turned around, not wanting them to see me this way. "Allen? Hey buddy you okay there?" Lavi asked.

I started to panic, hyperventilating. Oh crap! Not now, I can't have an attack in front of them! I need Cross, and I need my pills. I fell to my knees, facing away from them and clutched my chest.

I started coughing, covering my mouth with my hand. I started coughing harder and harder, not able to stop. Soon blood starting staining my hands red. I saw blackness in the edge of my vision and felt myself start to give away.

Cold and strong hands suddenly grabbed on to the sides of my face. I looked up blearily, not really able to see. My chest was aching heavily and I felt like throwing up. I felt someone call out to me and saw cobalt eyes stare back at me.

 _Kanda? What's he doing in front of me? I'm so confused I could just sle-_ "MOYASHI, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!" I gasped. I sat up not knowing when I layed down and coughed a few more times, before my hyperventilating and chest pains faded away.

I looked up with wide eyes at Kanda who stopped me from having a really bad attack. His eyes seemed scared and distant, like he was remembering something he didn't want to.

All of a sudden someone taps my left shoulder and I break my gaze away from Kanda to see Cross.

"Be careful brat, you just got out of the hospital, let's not make it a habit" He hands me a pill. I nodded, my voice not ready to use. I take a glass of water that was on the table and drink the pill.

I see Lavi and Lenalee looking at me with worried and wide eyes. I suddenly feel a wave of dizziness and stumble onto something soft, yet firm. I look up with half-lidded eyes to see Kanda staring down at me with horribly masked concern and something else?

"Sleep Moyashi, we'll be here when you wake up." He pulled me down into his lap and stroked my white hair.

I don't get any of this, what am I feeling for these people? My eyes slowly close and I fall asleep, hopeful that Kanda wasn't lying.

 **Okay I'm done! I hope it was okay. If you don't understand something tell me. Please review and tell me how I'm doing!**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 ** _Next Chapter: Allen spends the weekend with Lavi, Lenalee, and Kanda. Fluffiness and happy times are happening! Has Allen learned to trust_?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone. This is mostly a fluff chapter, key word: _mostly._**

 **Anyway I hope you enjoy! Please look at the author's note at the end of the chapter, and review!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

 **Warning: Fluff**

* * *

 _Kanda POV:_

Its been about two hours since the Moyashi had fainted. Honestly it scared me, the stoic samurai with 'no feelings'. He reminded me of Alma and how he died. Maybe that's why I seem to care so much for the beansprout.

I continued in my musings until I felt a tap on the shoulder.

I looked annoyed at Lavi, "What?" I snapped. He just grinned at me and pointed up stairs. I rolled my eyes and turned around to see the Moyashi standing there, rubbing his eyes like a child.

"Had a good nap, beansprout?" I raised an eyebrow when he seemed to just realize we were there.

He looked back and forth from me to Lavi and to Lenalee, who in turned smiled at him.

"Wai- What?" He rubbed the back of his neck and seemed to think about something.

"Well Moyashi we kept our promise didn't we?" I crossed my arms annoyed. His eyes widened, seeming just to remember what we promised. He put his head down, hair covering his eyes.

"Are you alright Allen?" Lenalee got up and grabbed a glass of water, walking towards him. She then stopped in mid-step confusing me and Lavi. Then we noticed Allen was shaking, quite violently. Lavi quickly got up and ran over to him. Lenalee put down the glass and walked over to him as well.

"Allen? Buddy, you okay?" Lavi put a hand on his shoulder. Allen then lifted his head, tears streamed down his face. Lenalee gasped and stepped towards him. He had the most desperate and hopeful look I have ever seen in my life, he looked so much like a child in that moment. Lenalee hugged him, he flinched but she didn't let go.

"WHA- Don't forget me!" Lavi yelled. The three hugged, the Moyashi, still crying sniffed but had a content smile on his face.

"Thank you" A whisper was barely heard, but still acknowledged. We glanced at Allen seeing his genuine smile. I let a small smile grace my features, getting rid of it just as fast as it appeared.

I then got up and walked towards the door a hand up in acknowledgment. I heard muttered voices and footsteps, I stepped outside and started walking to my house next door.

"WAIT, KANDA!" I hear the stupid beansprouts voice call to me. I stopped walking waiting for him to catch up. He finally got to me and was in front of me.

"What, Baka?" I looked down at him with an irritating glance. I felt arms around me all of a sudden and saw small and frail arms circling me. The Baka was hugging me! Yet, for some reason I didn't stop him. I awkwardly patted his head instead of hugging back. Hugs are not my thing, ever. I saw those silver blue eyes look into my own cobalt ones and it seemed as time stopped. I felt a little flutter in my chest, but quickly dismissed the feeling.

"Bakanda..." I heard him say affectionately. "...You helped me, a lot more than you think. So thank you...so much" A few tears leak out of his eyes.

"Heh...don't think too much of this Moyashi" He nods in agreement. He smiles and straightens.

"We'll see ya tomorrow, Bakanda. We're going to a amusement park...and yes you are coming!" He ran back to his house after waving. I smiled when I saw him go into his house. _Interesting... Allen Walker huh?_ I entered my house just as I saw Lenalee and Lavi exit Allen's.

See you tomorrow indeed, Moyashi.

* * *

 _Allen POV:_

The sun in my face was what woke me up. The phone ringing in my ear, made me fall out of my bed. Picking up the phone, I quickly checked who texted me at-9 IN THE MORNING?! Crap, crap, crap- oh wait my phone. I check the message box-

Lavi: Beansprout, we are coming over in 10 min. (Sent at 8:56)

"Well crap" I quickly rushed to put my clothes on, getting dressed in jeans and a black long sleeve shirt with my gloves, and brushing my teeth at the same time. It's harder than it sounds, trust me. Just then I hear the doorbell ring, and I run downstairs to answer it. I slam the door open, out of breath glaring at Lavi.

"One time is enough to ring the doorbell dumbass" I give my evil Allen glare. He shudders before grinning and putting his arm around my shoulder. Ignoring my flinch he, Lenalee and Kanda walk in the house. I twisted from his grip and headed towards the kitchen.

"Are you guys hungry? I'm about to make breakfast" I don't even glance back at them, hearing their murmurs of agreement. I quickly make 4 eggs, with strips of bacon, quickly serving them each one and sitting down at the table. We ate in silence, well at least me and Kanda did, Lenalee and Lavi didn't stop talking.

"Are we leaving after this?" I question, not able to keep excitement out of my voice. Lavi chuckled and checked his phone.

"Well it seems that everyone is done...so now!" He grins madly. I nodded and got up to put my dishes in the sink, a spring in my step. I honestly have never felt this happy for a while. It's a pretty fantastic feeling.

"Come on!" Lavi yells. Lenalee giggles and follows him, telling me that they'll meet me in the car. Kanda stayed behind for some reason, and to my surprise helped clean up the rest of the dishes. I gave him a smile, he grunted and turned away. I shrugged and got my jacket before following Kanda out the door.

* * *

 _30 VERY interesting minutes later..._

"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY" Lavi screamed like a child, running into the amusement park. I smiled and Lenalee giggled, Kanda stood in indifference.

I looked at the rides, amazement showing in my face. "What is this your first time to an amusement park Moyashi?" Kanda scoffed. I blushed, embarrassed and hesitantly nodded. Lavi and Lenalee looked at me in disbelief, while Kanda had a mild look of shock on his face.

"Anyway-" Lavi started, giving me a reassuring glance. "-Let's start having fun!" Everyone agreed, I let myself be swept away.

Lavi and Lenalee decided to go to a ride that literally had 37 loops and 12 drops. I declined and decided to go on a log ride. Kanda just followed me, and don't ask me why cause I don't know. The ride had 2 people per log and you get slightly wet. Kanda and I took the very last log and buckled our seatbelts. The ride was slightly awkward and we didn't do much talking, yet it was a comfortable silence.

As soon as we got to the middle of the ride where you barely have lighting, and have a view of beautiful gems, the ride stopped. I looked up in confusion and glanced at Kanda, he also seemed confused.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, but do to certain difficulties the ride will be on hold for 10 minutes. Please stand by, thank you for your patience" I growled and put my head in my hands, annoyed. It was my first ride and I was hoping to enjoy it, only for it to break down. At least I wasn't alone, I guess.

"Moyashi..." I heard Kanda. I looked up to see him close to my face and I stammered a what, before blushing. He seemed to be in deep thought and I could see hidden pain and something else, in his eyes. He cupped my face, while I blinked stupidly. He then leaned down and kissed me. My eyes widened, and I started to kiss back, that was until I felt his tongue ask for entrance. I gasped and went into a flashback... _hands, touching, feeling my body...shoving their tongue down my throat...choking, scrEAmiNG!_ I gasped, coming out of the mini flashback. I started hyperventilating, tears making their way down my cheeks. I felt numb and dull.

 _Wait.._ _where am i?... Who am I?_

* * *

 **CLIFFHANGER MUAHAHAHAHA.**

 **IM SO SORRY! It took me forever to update but I have another vote for you people!**

 **Before we get to the voting I have to say, thank you! You guys really help me write and honestly I wouldn't have continued this if it weren't for all of you!**

 **VOTE:**

 **Do you prefer if the chapters were...**

 **1) Shorter and updated more frequently**

 **2) Longer and updated less frequently**

 **Sorry to ask you that but if I do longer chappies it will take more time, the computer I do this on is ALWAYS occupated by someone in my fam.**

 **Anyway, that's all so make sure to review!**

 _ **Next Chapter: Watch what happens when the rest react to Allen, how will Kanda feel? Could someone help him before it's too late? Maybe something you thought could never happen, has to happen.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello everyone. So, many people wanted shorter chapters and updated more frequently, but a lot also said longer. I was thinking to kinda do both? I'll make the chapters around 1000 words each at least, and try to update more frequently.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

 **Warning: Darkness, Depressed Allen, Suicidal thoughts**

* * *

 _Allen POV:_

Blackness. That is what I know. I'm floating in it. It's surrounding me in every corner. Help, please, help me. I don't know why I'm here, or who I am. Perhaps I have done something horrible, something that can't be forgiven. Who knows, maybe it's for the best. I close my eyes, and drift, far away.

 _Link POV:_

"So, let me get this straight. You kissed Allen and he became like this?" I gestured towards him, showing his unresponsive features and empty eyes. Kanda nodded, hand on his hip. "Moyashi and I were stuck in the ride, and I don't know why, but I kissed him." Kanda swept some hair from his eyes.

Lavi and Lenalee came with him to Allen's house, while I came in moments after, wanting to see Allen, of course only to find Allen in a near-dead state. I paced nervously, Kanda and me were the only remaining in the house. Lavi had to bring Lenalee home, despite their extreme worry over Allen. Kanda, at the moment was sitting on the couch next to Allen's body. I looked at the pair, observing how Kanda would move Allen's hair out of his eyes, and closing them, carefully. I saw it, the love. He truly loved Allen, I could tell. I gasped, all of a sudden, getting an idea.

I glanced at Allen, silently apologizing to Kanda, Allen and Lala. I took a deep breath, walking over to Allen and lifting him up into a sitting position. Kanda was about to question me, but I put a hand up in silence. I gave him an apologetic glance, confusing him. I tilted Allen's head up and moved his bangs away from his eyes, once again.

I put both my hands on the sides of his face, and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. I then slowly leaned towards him, ignoring the jump of Kanda, and kissed him fiercely. I shoved my tongue into his mouth, caressing his face and kissing him more passionately. I moved my hands down from his face to his chest, moving my hands underneath his shirt until I got to his nipples. I started pinching his left bud, while rubbing the right one, feeling a small jolt from his body. I stopped kissing him for a moment to regain a breath, and resumed a second after. My hands moved even lower, going to his considerably large bulge. I started pumping him through his pants, feeling his very slight movement. I then put my hand under his pants, messing with the hem of his underwear, until I could feel his member. I rubbed him, pumped him and I finally felt him come. I stopped kissing him, took my hand from his pants and got up. Kanda stood their in shock and jealousy.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" He yelled, face red. "Sorry Kanda but he needed a push..." I pointed towards Allen "He will explain when he is ready. He should be waking up soon." I took a tissue from the table wiping off the remains of Allen before getting my jacket, and walking out the door.

 _Kanda POV:_

I heard a groan as soon as Link left, and turned my head towards Allen. His eyes slowly blinked open, the look of emptiness, slowly fading away. He looked confused, until he spotted me, then he flinched. I sighed and sat down, hand in my hair. "Welcome back Moyashi, you have a lot of explaining to do." I glared at him, ignoring the twinge of guilt when I saw him flinch and look away. He then seemed to notice what happened inside his pants, because he got a horror-filled look in his eyes. "You were in shock, it seemed Moyashi" I glanced towards him.

"Link was here. He kinda fucked you" I stated monotonously. His eyes widened, then filled with recognition. "Oh. That explains it." Allen said, nodding his head. I felt myself get angry at him.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT EXPLAINS IT?" I yelled. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON?!" His eyes widened and he paled considerably. "I will tell you when I am ready, Kanda" He gazed at his hands. He got up and took a few tissues, wiping himself off.

"You stupid Moyashi" I glared, feeling hurt. "Kanda, the only reason he had to do that was because I was lost." He shifted, going back towards the couch. "This happened once before, and everyone tried everything, until sex became the last option. Apparently I recognized Link enough to be pulled out of my state, while my current boyfriend at the time couldn't even pull me out." He sighed, taking a glass of water from the table, taking a sip before continuing.

"The doctor had said that the one you love can't pull me out of the state because I recognize them too much, and they are in a way, a part of me. Link had a deep enough connection with me, for me to know it was him and help me overcome the dark. But the doctor did mention that if I ever came to love someone and they truly loved me back, there could be another way." He finished, putting the glass down. I just listened, unable to comprehend most of what was said. We sat in a silence for a few minutes, until I could truly grasp the situation. I nodded after a while, showing I understood. "Sorry for doing that to you guys, I understand if you don't want me around anymore" Allen put his head down in shame. I sighed and stood up, walking in front of him. I crouched down, tilted his head up and said three words that changed everything.

"I Love You"

* * *

 **Okay then. That was unexpected wasn't it? If you are confused, it will be explained more in later chapters. Also, thank you for reviewing and giving me some great ideas for this story!**

 **One more thing. I will be working on a Naruto one-shot so this might not be updated as fast. Don't worry I won't forget this though.**

 **If anyone want's me to write a fanfic to any anime, comment it and tell me. I will try to do as many as I can!**

 **Till next time!**

 _ **Next Chapter: What will Allen say to Kanda? Is their 'friendship' ruined? How will it affect Lavi and Lenalee? How about Cross, where is he?**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone. Sorry it's been what, three weeks? I was waiting for a new laptop so I could start updating quicker. My school ended a few days ago so I will update more often. Anyway I didn't really like how the last chapter turned out so I might change it around a bit.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

 **Warning: Emotional discomfort, dark events.**

* * *

 _Allen POV:_

"I Love You" Kanda said. I stood rigid, eyes wide and mouth wide open. I felt as if I stood there for hours, and finally got out of my shock filled silence after Kanda moved away.

He attempted to make his face void of any emotion, and most likely would have succeeded if not for my very observant eyes. I could see hurt and sadness in his eyes, and was about to say something, until he got his stuff and left before I could answer him back.

The slam of the door, finally helped me rush onto my feet and chase after him. I quickly opened the door, looking around for him before seeing his blue/black hair disappear into his house. "You stupid jerk, you didn't let me answer." I muttered, a few tears escaping my eyes.

"I love you too" I closed the door, sliding down with my head in my hands. "Cross, where are you?" I sniffled "I wish you were here right now" I started sobbing. The only thing heard for that day was broken sobs and muttered wishes.

 _Lavi POV:_

"Cmon Lenaleee" I whined. "I wanna see Allen, I was worried. He hasn't texted any of us back, even Kanda isn't answering his phone or the doorbell" I sighed.

"Maybe they are just busy, Lavi" Lenalee said annoyed. I stuck my head up in the air, not backing down. "Fine, let's go." She walked out my front door (we were in my house) dragging me behind her. We crossed the street to Allen's house, before knocking on the door.

After ten minutes and still nothing, I got annoyed and decided to just go in. "Lavi! You can't do that!" Lenalee scolded. "No, this is ridiculous. I don't care at this point, we need to find out what's going on." I tried opening the door and to my pleasure it was unlocked.

"Weird..." Lenalee muttered. It was pitch black in the house, it seemed as if no one even lived here. "Allen? Are you here?" I said. Not a single thing was heard. We walked further into the house to see if anything was here. I stopped suddenly, putting my arm in front of Lenalee to stop her from walking.

I saw a glimpse of white before running towards it. I heard Lenalee following behind me and we saw Allen lying on the floor.

"Allen! Are you okay?" Lenalee said worriedly shaking him a bit. I bent down, putting my ear near his mouth, and hearing erratic breathing. I put my hand on his forehead, feeling his temperature. I gasped, retreating my hand in shock. "Lenalee he has a really high fever." I looked at her worriedly. She glanced at me and I nodded. We lifted him up and put him down on the couch.

"How long do you think he's been lying there?" Lenalee questioned, hands on her hips. "We should ask Kanda since he was the last to be with Allen" She nodded before walking into the kitchen. "You go to his house, I'll take care of Allen-kun for now" Lenalee said while turning on the sink.

"Okay." I muttered before I left out the door.

 _Lenalee POV:_

I wet a washcloth under the sink, before returning to Allen. His fever was dangerously high, seeming to be in between 102 to 103 degrees F.

I sat down next to him, putting the washcloth on his forehead and wiping away sweat that was gathered there. I wish that Allen wasn't so wary of us. We would never intentionally hurt him. Even though I haven't known Allen for so long, I see him as a little brother, he is the youngest of us after all.

I hummed a little tune, taking a blanket I see, before putting it over Allen. I moved some hair from his face, before re-wetting the cloth and putting it back on his forehead. I sit there, just humming and wait for Lavi to return.

"Allen, I really hope you will let us in one day. I know it must be hard, after all we don't know what you have been through, but please give us a chance to understand you better and be good friends. We care for you Allen, your our little brother, except to Kanda, we knew he loved you. You probably won't hear this, but know we will always be here for you Allen-kun" I sighed resting my head on the couch.

I knew he wouldn't hear me say any of that, but a small part of me hoped he did.

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter, this was kinda a filler.**

 **I'm completely open for any requests you have for this story. So review and comment on any suggestions you have!**

 _ **Next Chapter: Will Lavi succeed in getting Kanda? What will happen to Allen? Will Cross finally make an appearance?**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey peoples of the world. I am back with a new chapter! Thank you for all the reviews, they motivate me!**

 _ **Check authors note at the bottom of the chapter.**_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

* * *

 _Lavi POV:_

I ran to Kanda's house, not wanting to waste any time, after all we don't know how long Allen has been laying unconscious. I arrived at his front door, knocking frequently "Kanda, I really need to talk to you!" I pounded on the door. Ten minutes later, the door finally opened, showing Kanda with a scowl on his face.

"What do you want Baka Usagi!" He snarled. I rolled my eyes, before remembering what I came here for.

"OH! When you left Allen's house, was he okay?" I asked. Kanda's scowl seemed to deepen, "I don't know and I don't care!" He tried slamming the door, but I quickly put my foot in the corner to stop it from closing.

"Allen was unsconscious when we came there!" I yelled "He could have been laying there for days, while having a fever!" I clenched my fists. "Don't you care for him Kanda? We know you love him, why bother lying?" Kanda widened his eyes, before getting an angry look on his face. I could still see the masked hurt in his eyes.

"That moyashi doesn't love me!" I got angry and punched him in the face.

"Did he actually tell you that!?" I screamed. Kanda looked shocked, before reverting back into his stoic face.

"Whatever... Go take care of that moyashi yourself" He slammed the door. I looked down, angry and stomped back into Allen's house. I went into his house, slamming the door, and taking my shoes off. Lenalee came running after hearing the noise, "Lavi, be quiet! Allen is sleeping!" She shushed me.

I nodded, softening my face. I walked with her to the couch where Allen was laying and bent down next to him. I took the rag Lenalee put on him and washed it before placing it on his forehead again. Allen sighed and shifted, leaning on my hand, which was by his head. Lenalee quietly sat next to me, holding my hand, comfortably.

Allen shifted once more, and getting a closer look at his face, we saw a tear making way down his cheek. Lenalee gasped and quickly wiped it away. "I wonder what's wrong with him..." She moved his hair out of his face, "He seem's like he went through a lot." I nodded at her statement.

"I think so too, he seem's fragile." I look at Allen's pale face, seeing his eyebrows scrunch together, the troubled look on his face making him seem much older. He suddenly sat up, crying out. "Allen...?" I said. He looked my way, panting and teary.

"Wha- Lavi? Lenalee?" He looked from me to Lenalee, confused.

"W-What are you doing here?" He sat, in a straight position, clutching the fabric over his heart. "We came to see how you were doing, we haven't heard from you in a while so we came to check on you" I said, giving him a glass of water. He took it, drinking in needy gulps.

"Oh...well thank you for coming" He averted his eyes.

 _Allen POV:_

I glanced away from them, feeling a bit shy and insecure. They seemed like their intentions were genuine, but I am still wary.

Oh! I just remembered, where's Kanda? I wonder if he is doing alright.

"Hey guys...? Did you check on Kanda?" Lavi got a angry look in his eyes that made me flinch away. He softened his gaze, and ran a hand through his red hair. "Yeah Allen, he is fine..." He seemed hesitant to continue. "Maybe you should go see him when your feeling better." He said. I nodded in agreement. Lenalee got up from her spot and knelt in front of me, putting a hand on my forehead.

"Hmm... Your fever seems to have gone down a bit. I recommend you take some medicine and get a good night's sleep. You should be good as new tomorrow!" She gave me a warm smile. I nodded, looking at the time. It was around four so I'll just watch tv or something till later.

"You guys should go home, your guardians will be worried." I gave them a shy look. I put my hands on my lap and gave a rare, genuine smile.

"Thank you for taking care of me." Lenalee cooed, she seemed to want to hug me but seemed hesitant, I hugged her instead. She jolted in suprise, as well as Lavi. Lavi ruffled my hair and got up.

"Well, we should get going, feel better short stack" I glared at him for the name, "Stupid Lavi" I pouted. Lenalee giggled, waving bye to me. Five minutes later... It was back to quietness. I sighed, drinking more water before turning the tv on.

Before I knew it I was drifting off, back to nightmares.

* * *

 **Sorry! I know you all want to kill me! But before you do I wanted to inform all of you of a change.**

 **The title does not fit this fanfiction anymore because most of it will not take place in school, because of that the title will change so be wary!**

 **That is all! I will try to update quicker, bye bye~**

 _ **Next Chapter: Allen is on the way to Kanda's house. Can he show Kanda his feelings? Or will it all be for nothing? How about Kanda what will he feel? Find out next in chapter 11!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey, sorry for the long wait. I'm lacking motivation to write this, don't worry though I wont abandon this fic. Anyway, I'm open for any ideas you may have!**

 **Read authors note at the bottom ^^**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM :'[**

 **Warning: Possible traumatic flashbacks, crying.**

* * *

 _Kanda POV:_

I woke up this morning at ten. I usually wake up much earlier, around seven-ish but I guess for once I'm tired. I get up, stretch and start to dress. Ten minutes later and I'm downstairs eating breakfast my adoptive father Tiedoll made for me. I see a note next to my eggs and open it.

 _Dear Yuu-kuuuun! Its your father Tiedoll! Anyway, you have the house to yourself for today. I am at my studio till eight, and your brother Daisya is over at a friends. Don't get into too much trouble! Love, your father ;)_

Ugh, that man gives me headaches. At least I get the house to myself. A whole day of peace and quiet, at least that's what I thought.

 _Two Hours Later..._

I hear a knock on the door. I exhale, and ignore it, continuing to meditate. I hear another series of knocks, and furrow my brows before sighing angrily and getting up. I walk towards the doorway and open the door. I see the person I least wanted to see right now. The Moyashi was standing there, curling his fingers together, looking everywhere but my eyes. Just as I am about to slam the door in his face, his hands stop me.

"P-please don't close the door." He stammers nervously. "Tch." I try to force it closed, but the beansprout seems to hold out.

"Kanda please stop. You stupid arse!" I slacken my hold, surprised at his language. He takes that moment of hesitation and quickly barges in closing the door behind him. "Idiot! Get out of here, I never invited you in!" I shout angrily. He turns away, eyes shadowed by his hair. I'm about to force him to look at me before I see something that stops me in my tracks. One lone tear makes it's way down his cheek, dripping to the floor.

"Y-You jerk, you assume too much!" He looks up at me, eyes teary and lip trembling. "You never listen, do you! When you said you loved me, I never even answered before you ran out of there!" I froze, eyes widening. I was about to say something, but he continued, "D-Don't become like the others, Kanda. You can't become like them, like him!" He seems to now say more to himself then me.

"I don't w-want to be betrayed again. Not a-anymore. Don't l-let it happen to me!" He says, taking fast, short breaths. I realize he's having a panic attack and quickly move from where I'm standing.

I run over to him and take him into my arms, holding him tightly. He stops muttering but when I look down, I see something much worse. His eyes are dull, and have a slightly haunted look in them.

"Moyashi?" I call to him, but he doesn't answer. It's as if he's somewhere else, and he's still shaking.

"...Beansprout? Allen?" I shake him a bit, yet he doesn't react. I tilt his head up towards mine, but it's like he's not even looking at me. This is starting to worry me, che, this beansprout is breaking all my walls.

He starts to breathe heavily once again, and starts to fall forward, luckily I catch him before he does. His arm is clutching his chest, as if he's in agony.

I'm really starting to worry about him, so I hug him. I hug him close to my chest, letting my hands run through his hair. I whisper a lullaby in his ear, and I see the dullness start to fade a bit. He still has a glazed look in his eye that worries me though.

Oh, that's right, didn't the usagi mention him being sick yesterday? I touch my forehead to his, and yep there's a fever. I start to see his eyes close so I pick him up and carry him to my room.

I lay him down on my bed and start to leave before I hear him "K-kanda, please s-stay" He whispers. I turn around and look at him. He's in such a pitiful state, and I hate it. I hate how he can make me feel all these things. But I sit by him anyway, not looking at him.

"I-I'm sorry, I l-love you too..." I hear him trail off as he falls asleep. I look towards him, wide-eyed. What did he just say?

He...loves me too?

* * *

 **OMGGGGGGG I'M SO SORRY! IM SO LATE IN POSTING THIS! AND IT'S PRETTY SHORT!**

 **I know, I'll go dig my grave... Anyway sorry for the late chapter, I didn't mean to let it out so late. But I gave Kanda's pov and switched thing's up a bit, hehe.**

 **I have news. I can't publish anything for the next week or two because I'm going somewhere that has no service x.x**

 **That's all for now...enjoy your weekends guys and see you next chapter!**

 **Sayonara~**

 _ **Next Chapter: What does Kanda have to say for Allen's confession? Will he accept it or will he reject it in fear for his own feelings? What does any of this have to do with Alma? Find out, in chapter 12!**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone! I know I took a while to update but I have my reasons.**

 **I also got a comment that I "finally" updated and that the person was annoyed that I was going to take long to update. Well news flash, people have lives and can't update all the time, if your unhappy then don't read this.**

 **That's all, now back to the chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

* * *

 _Kanda POV:_

I looked at the moyashi in shock. He actually loves me? No, he couldn't. It's probably all just a joke to get me mad. That stupid little beansprout thinks he can mess with my feelings like that! Who does he think he is! What a dumbass.

"Che, moyashi" I walk out of the room. As I walk down the hallway, I can't help but think of what it would feel like to actually be loved again. Alma and I used to be lovers, well until _that_ happened.

I can't help but shudder and blink some water from my eyes, thinking about it.

No! I'm not pitying myself like a baby right now.

I sit on the couch and start to meditate. I'll kick the moyashi out as soon as he wakes up, and not just from the house, but from my life.

* * *

 _Allen POV:_

I wake up, seeing the room spin as soon as I open my eyes. I groan quietly and close my eyes once more. I rub my face, and open my eyes again, seeing things relatively more normal. I stop in my thoughts for a second to see I'm in a unfamiliar room.

Oh no, please no! D-did they get me again? Maybe I'll actually die this time. Well I would be doing everyone a favor... I shake my head ridding of the thoughts. I stand up, swaying a bit and check to see if the door is locked. To my surprise and luck, its open.

I quickly open the door and walk into a hallway. I reach the end and see what looks like a living room. Then I see...Kanda?

I stop, my memories returning to me, I came to his door, ad then...OMG I BLANKED! I lost it in front of him!?

What the hell did I say!? Crap... OMG I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM! I blush darkly and stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Does this mean we could become...lovers? My blush grows even more in comparison, if that's possible.

A voice quickly rids of my thoughts, "Finally awake moyashi? It's been 2 hours" Kanda says, eyes still shut.

"O-Oh r-really? I'm sorry for everything again"

"You better be god damn sorry, now get out"

I blink a few times, not registering his words. "W-what do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Did I freaking stutter? Now get out!" He opens his eyes and glares at me. "But I thought that you-"

"What? Love you? Don't make me laugh. Get out and take your lies with you!"

"I'm not lying!" I glare. "I do love you! What makes you think I'm lying?!" I practically shout at him.

"To be honest, who knows what you tell is a lie and what's the truth! We know nothing about you! Your like a book filled with secrets, and I HATE secrets." He looks away, at the last part. "Just get out, get out of my house, and get OUT OF MY LIFE!" He glares murderously. My eyes fill with tears, knowing he's right about the secrets.

"Fine, if you all wanted that so bad, I'll do you a favor. You won't have to see me again. Consider me gone." I barely whisper out.

I turn and run of of his house, never looking back. I knew it was all to good to be true. I can never make friends, much less have someone love a monster like me. I run into my house, and see the last thing I expect.

Cross is sitting on the couch with a women making out. They quickly spring apart, seeing what made the noise.

Cross looks at me, and sees me scratching my arms. He whispers something to the woman and she nods, leaving the house.

"Brat what's wr-" I cut him off, running into his arms.

I hold him tight, and sob. I sob for losing my only friends, I sob for hurting Kanda, and I sob for being a monster.

"I want to die" I whisper to myself, not seeing the way Cross's eyes widened and how he hugged me tighter.

* * *

 _Kanda POV:_

I see the moyashi gather tears in his eyes and run out the door. His last words haunt me.

 _Consider me gone_

 _Consider me gone_

It rings throughout my head. I stare at the closed door, and look throughout the dark empty house.

I feel a stab in my chest and wonder, did I do the right thing? One part of me says yes while the other part is _screaming_ no! I clutch my head, feeling a headache form.

I head into my room and flop onto my bed. It smells like him.

That night I go to sleep early feeling my chest ache right where my heart is, not knowing the tears that fell down my cheeks as I slept.

* * *

 **I seriously did not mean to make the chapter this way. I literally had something entirely different in mind but once I got going I couldn't stop. I hope the chapter is still enjoyable, it has more drama now.**

 **Please review and tell me what you think! It's always nice to hear what you guys think!**

 ** _Next Chapter: What will happen to Allen now? Will he be okay? How can Cross help? What will happen when Lavi and Lenalee find out what happened? Find out next in Chapter 13!_**


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay I'm back people! I hoped you guys liked the last chapter, to be honest I'm a bit proud, _just_ a bit though. **

**Anyway I know most people hate authors notes so I'm gonna start the chapter now...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

 **WARNING: Suicidal thoughts, cutting, depression.**

* * *

 _Cross POV:_

Shit! That was the first thing that came to mind when I saw Allen walk through the door. The kid looked so miserable, and I could see the tear tracks on his face. What really had me panicked was when I saw him scratching his arms, and when he muttered about himself dying.

My eyes widened considerably when he said that, and it made me think back to the first suicide attempt he tried...

 _Flashback_

"Tch, that brat better have paid the debts, it's only been two weeks, how much trouble could he possibly get into." I muttered to myself as I unlocked the front door.

"Yo brat! Where are you? Do me a favor and get me a bottle of sake will ya?" I said into the quiet house.

After taking off my coat and shoes, I decide to look around to see if my idiot apprentice is even here. I check his bedroom and mine, then go look into the hallways and kitchen. I can't find that stupid brat anywhere. Just then I hear a quiet cough.

Oi, is the brat sick? I check the bathroom and see something horrifying, the brat was lying on the floor, eyes half lidded and wrists bleeding severely. I saw something glimmer in his left hand and see a knife.

"Oi! Allen! What the hell did you do?!" I check his pulse seeing it's weak.

A shaky cough brings me out of my panicky state, not that I'm actually panicking on the outside, only inside of me.

"I-I'm sorry m-master. I-I know y-you s-said that you w-would be back soon, b-but I lost track of t-time and t-thought you l-left me a-alone. K-kids at school k-keep bullying me for m-my appearances a-and hurt m-me" He says, tears escaping his eyes.

"I-I'm tired Shishou, and I-I don't, no c-can't be alone a-again!" He cries brokenly. I hug him close to my chest, muttering how it will be alright and I will support him.

When I see him pass out I'm both relieved and worried. I can finally call an ambulance, at the very least. I put pressure on his wrists, until the ambulance finally arrives. After that, it all feels like a blur.

I had a very hard time even considering to leave Allen at home by himself, much less re-enrolling him into school. It took months, until he assured me he would be alright.

 _Flashback Ends_

That was only six or seven months ago. Now I'm scared he will fall back into that habit of his and attempt suicide.

"Allen." I grumble out. He looks up at me, red rings around his eyes along with the puffiness we both grew accustomed to.

"You will take a week off of school for recovery, alright?" I give him a stern look. He just nods and rests his head on my lap. I stroke his head of white hair, while gazing outside. If anyone dares to hurt Allen again, I will _kill_ them. I glare at nothing, continuing to pat Allen's hair until he falls asleep.

 _Allen's POV:_

When I wake up the next morning, I'm oddly comfortable and I feel something tickling my face. I glance up with bleary eyes, and see my master sleeping under me, a hand resting on my upper back protectively. I just snuggle back onto his chest, which might I say is pretty comfortable. I then remember the events of yesterday and start tearing up, a sob threatening to escape my throat. "Allen." My master says, startling me. "Forget about it all." He mutters. "I can't Shishou! It's too painful. He thought I w-was lying t-to h-him, when I w-was telling t-the truth!" By then I had begun crying again. "Shishou, I need Link." I say, curling into him. "Alright, I'll give him a call" He says. I just nod quietly.

 _Later..._

I hear the doorbell ring and quickly run to open it. I see Link standing outside, with a worried frown. I step aside to let him through and we both go sit on the couch.

"Allen, whats wr-" He never got to finish, as I cut him off by jumping onto him, hugging him like theirs no tomorrow.

"I fell in love with someone, and they loved me as well, at least that's what they said. When they confessed their love for me I was overjoyed, but I guess my silence made them get the wrong idea. After that I attempted to resolve things but he thought I was lying and said he never wanted to see me again!" I started crying for the second time today. Link knows I'm gay so he doesn't care about the gender which is soothing to me.

"Shh Allen, don't cry." He strokes my hair, in a lovingly brother way. I snuggle into him for comfort.

"Link, I just want to die!" I scream out. His hand stops momentarily, before restarting their movements of stroking my hair. "No Allen, that is not what you want. Your just not thinking straight right now." I knew he was right about me not thinking straight, after all a jumble of thoughts were running through my head. But one thing was for sure, I _did_ want to die. I'm not ready to go through pain again. I just escaped it.

Third Person POV

Later that night, everything was calm, quiet and nice.

Birds were singing their quiet tunes, families were tucking their children into bed, and couples were snuggling to each other lovingly.

But this quiet was one that wouldn't last.

The reason was because of a small white haired boy, scratching his arms severely.

Blood would spill that night, and old habits would start once again.

* * *

 **Well that was depressing. But don't worry it will get better...eventually.**

 **I know I said Lavi and Lenalee would be appearing but the chapter ended up differently, as you can see.**

 ***Shishou- Master**

 **Make sure you review! Let's see how many I can get for this chapter!**

 **If you really did enjoy it, I promise to update faster!**

 _ **Next Chapter: This time Lavi and Lenalee will find out the details of what happened with Allen. Is he alright? Find out next in Chapter 14!**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys how's it goin? I'm finally back with an update! Okay so this chapter will focus mainly on other's POV. It will mainly be Lavi and Lenalee, maybe some Cross and Allen. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

 **Read Authors Note at the bottom.**

 **Warning: Depression, Cutting, Blood, Angst**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own DGM**

* * *

 _Cross POV:_

Tch, how long will that damn brat be sleeping for? It's already 11 in the morning.

Might as well wake him up. I walk into the bathroom first, to wash my face since I'm always god damned tired. I make my way up to the brat's room and knock on the door.

"Brat! Get up already. Just because I let you have a week off of school, does not mean you could slack around!" After another minute of yelling and knocking, I just decide to open the door.

"Wha-" I cut myself off, looking at Allen.

"Oh my fuc-" I run to his bed, "Allen, what the hell did you do!" I turn him over.

I see his arms, scratch marks all over with dried blood both on his arms and his bed.

"Oh no, no" I say to myself, trying not to panic. There is blood everywhere. The floor, the sheets, on Allen.

I quickly bring my phone out, one hand hovering uncertainly over Allen.

"Hello?" A deep voice says over the phone. "Bookman I need your help immediately." I hear a sigh

"Cross, now is not the time fo-" I cut him off "BOOKMAN!" I nearly scream. He shuts up knowing I'm actually serious.

"What is it?"

"It's Allen, he did it again, and you know I can't take him to a hospital. They will just make him do rehab and you know how he feels about it."

"I'll be over immediately." He hangs up the phone.

"Stupid brat, making me worry" I mutter to myself. I quickly run into the bathroom and get a bowl and washcloth, filling the bowl with cold water. I return to the bedroom and undress Allen.

I quickly wash off the dried blood and wrap his arms with bandages. His regular arm is far worse since its normal skin, however he managed to scratch his other arm is news to me.

 _Ding_

Oh finally he's here. I run to the door and nearly slam it open. I see Bookman but why the hell is his brat here?!

"Before you ask I had no choice but to bring him, they have no school since something happened with their pipes. He wouldn't let me go unless he came, sorry." I just sighed and let them in.

 _Lavi POV:_

I enter Allen's home, mostly understanding the situation. Bookman told me what happened on the way over, I really find it hard to believe Allen would do this to himself, but yet again we don't really know Allen that well, do we?

I follow after Bookman and Cross, and eventually end up in what I guess is Allen's room. As we enter, I have to stop myself from leaving. The room reeks of blood, and the colors of the bed sheets and part of the floor match it clearly.

Bookman and Cross are quietly chatting about something I'm most likely not supposed to hear, while tending to Allen.

My one visible eye seems to dim a little, seeing Allen like this.

Allen was mine and Lenalee's unspoken little brother. I hope he gets better.

I slowly back out of the room and go to the bathroom, hoping to find helpful first aid for Allen's arms. I search the cupboards, all the while thinking about how this could have happened.

One things for sure, I have a distinct yet powerful feeling Kanda is somehow involved with this.

He better be ready for a long talk...

 _Allen POV:_

A sigh escapes my lips. I've been floating in this god forsaken darkness for who knows how long.

Sometimes it's as if I can hear voices but I'm probably just imagining it all. I continue to float around, waiting for something, for anything to help guide the way. Unfortunately my prayers are not answered and here I am, still floating.

Deciding not to do nothing, I start to think.

I'm hit with a sudden wave of sadness, threatening to take control of my body. I try to shake it away as much as I can and narrowly succeed.

I decide to forget all the memories of the sad and try to think of the happy. It doesn't surprise me that I only have one truly happy memory. It was meeting Mana.

Another sigh escapes my lips in a soundless puff of air. How much longer will I float?

 _Lenalee POV:_

I wonder what happened?

We had no school today because of a pipe mishap, so I decided to go over to Lavi's house.

I was going to ask him if he wanted to go see Allen, but it seems no ones home. He hasn't even answered his phone. I look over at Allen's and Kanda's houses a yard away, should I go or no?

I mull over it for a bit and decide to head over to Kanda's house.

I want to go see Allen altogether. I'm over there in less than two minutes, ringing the doorbell.

I patiently wait outside until Kanda comes and opens the door. His usual scowl is etched on his face, purple bags under his eyes.

"Hey Kanda, do you mind if I come in for a bit?" Kanda sighs and opens the door more to let me in. Ever since we were little Kanda has had a bit off a soft spot for me. He said something about innocence, and my kindness, whatever that means.

I enter his house going over to sit on the couch, my shoes removed and my jacket hanging. Kanda follows soon after, sitting across from me on the other side of the couch.

"Is everything alright? You seem tired." I question him, searching his eyes to see if he's lying."Tch, I'm fine, just stressed." He looks away from me, signaling he doesn't want to talk about it. I sigh and decide to change the topic.

"Hey Kanda? Have you heard from Allen or Lavi today?" Something in his expression shifts, and he scowls more fiercely.

"No." He says. "Oh okay. I was just wondering because I haven't hear-" I was interrupted by someone knocking on the door very loudly.

I stand up to get it, and quickly open the door. Lavi stands on the other side, a panicked expression on his face. It makes the words in my throat hard to say because Lavi never has that kind of expression.

Kanda all of a sudden appears next to me and glares at Lavi. "What are you doing here?" He snarls. Lavi breathes in deeply before replying.

"It's Allen. He did something really bad and now he's..." Lavi stops, eye dulling. My heart turns cold.

"Lavi? What do you mean...?" Kanda seems to stiffen up a bit but nonetheless is quiet.

"He's... Guys, he's going to a hospital." Lavi says slowly. "WHAT?" I scream.

Kanda growls, "Tch, that stupid moyashi probably just hurt himself accidentally." Lavi glares at him. "No you IDIOT! He did hurt himself, but on purpose! He's not waking up!" Kanda's eyes widen before his face goes blank.

"Whatever, just get out."

"But Kanda..." I start, "No! Just please, go." He looks away and ushers us out the door.

He slams it shut and I turn to Lavi, tearing up. He quickly hugs me, and I bury my face in his chest.

"Lavi...I'm so confused." He looks at me sadly. "I know Lena, me too" Nothing more is said. We stand out there for what feels like hours, before going our separate ways. Allen...I hope you confide in us soon, or at least Kanda.

If one person can help...it's him.

 _Allen POV:_

Is that a light? It looks like it's reaching towards me...

Maybe if I stretch my hand far enough I can reach it!

My arm raises slowly, and I reach for the light.

Next thing I know...

It consumes me.

* * *

 **OKayy... That was well, idk. I know my update is really late and I have no excuses.**

 **In October, I will hopefully get a new laptop and update more often. Just don't get your hopes up too high...**

 **Next chapter will be a little dark but mostly in the brighter area.**

 **Definitely will be more KandaxAllen next chappie.**

 _ **READ THIS!**_

 _ **Okay so I'm really starting to like Alma's character so I need you guys to vote-**_

 **Do you want Alma to be:**

 _ **-Alive**_

 _ **-Dead**_

 _ **PLEASE VOTE! THE VOTING WILL BE TWO CHAPTERS LONG SO BY CHAPTER 16 IT WILL BE DONE!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Kanda and Allen drama! What happened to make Allen end up in a coma? Can he be woken up? Time is ticking...**_


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